Overwhelmed...

The past week, or rather past one month, has been overwhelming to say the least.

The first was the spat about moving the work space. Which brought me eye to eye on the work situation and made me see the situation as it actually was. Not with hope, not with despondency, but just what it was. And it wasn't pretty. Not just in terms of work that remains to be done, but also in terms of when one could hope to complete it, with the current state, current team and present state of mind of all concerned. Pretty pretty grim.The decision is still WIP, but it needs to be done. '

Then, there was the issue of facing up to the domestic tyrant, and having a youngster face up to it, rather than me. Again, a day of rude awakening, to see the writing on the wall, and my having a complete meltdown about it. I was surprised by the meltdown, I hadnt expected to feel the anger I felt, the despondency I felt and the sense of having let it all go. But then, the tyrant woke up and saw for itself the situation, gave assurances with concrete action that would be taken, with immediate changes, and somehow the crisis passed. I was close to throwing in the towel, I must say that though.

Then, the case of tax terrorism and returning from the brink of it, so much so that one had to return after completing half a leg of the journey. Consulting the laws on the run and deciding to come back. Brinkmanship. But looking back today, perhaps a good decision. Though only time will tell.

And then the pandemic that is sweeping the world, carona virus. The anxiety to beat other anxieties. More so because of my health condition. And now, the continuing house-stay due to it. And reading the news of death, of risk and of impunities taken by others due to ignorance or callousness.

The last straw being the discussion today about the psychosis and the need to get a loved one admitted to a hospital to treat it. Mind numbing. I am at the ropes, barely standing.

I want this week to end. And end well. But it won't. The worst is yet to come. Have no more strength to even brace myself. I shudder to think what the next hour will bring.

And I think of a few more times when I was in a situation like this. At a desk, at a hospital. At a NICU ward.I am beginning to panic....Save me, please. Someone save me.