The Panch Kanya's

Reading about the Panch Kanya's. Five Young Wondrous Girls. Kunti, Draupadi, Mandodari, Tara and Ahiyla.

Kanya's are not virgins, as popular interpretation of the word Kanya would have us believe. These are women, rather maidens, who have earned the right to desire.

Strange right. Doesn't everyone have a right to desire, you ask. Yes, everyone can desire. But for women, typically their desires are circumcised by the patriarchy.

Not for the Panch Kanyas. For them, the universe is a supplicant, forced to give them whatever it is that they desire. Uncircumcised. They do not take "No" for an answer. Fate, time or Karma cannot deny their desire. They have been bestowed this right by the dint of their actions and their conduct in their lives, and yes, their persistence of getting their due, no matter what the world says.

It is said that worshiping them, or by simply remembering them, makes a devotee achieve Nirvana. Actually, beyond Nirvana. Nirvana is expected to be this place where a being has no desire at all. For the Panch Kanya's, they are beings with only desire. Because, what must have come before this world? The makers desire to make this world. Desire comes even before time. Kanya's are beings in that realm.

None of these women are worshiped in temples. Unlike the numerous women goddesses or Shaktis - Durga Ma, Kali Ma, Parvati, Sita, Radha, the list is large - almost every household has its own goddess, its own Shakti. Sometimes the Shakti's are worshiped by themselves, or with their consorts, Shiva, Ram, Krishna, manifestations of the masculine.

But the Panch Kanya's have no male consorts. They are just themselves, just women who are pure desire. Who need to be worshiped for just themselves, without any reference to the men in their lives, without any male consort. Women who stand alone. Only the sacred fierce feminine.

They revel in their desire, nothing being out of bounds for them. Opulence, beauty, glory, their place in the sun, pleasure - including sexual pleasure. These are free women who desire, and get it. Contrast this with the Sati-Savitri women, who desire nothing other than the happiness and glory for their husbands, fathers or brothers. These maidens want it for themselves, for their own pleasure, following their own rules. They go beyond the rules of world, the demands of motherhood, and their familial duties. They affirm themselves, needing no affirmations that is external to them.

They are the ones who have given everything to men in their lives, and have found them falling short. They have then decided to take what is due to them by their own hands. They are women who are survivors and winners in the world of men. They have, at some time, loved a man, got him, given their heart, soul, counsel, nurturing everything their feminine nature could do - and have been disappointed by him. Men have not been enough for them. They have relied on themselves and their God, and have got what they wanted. They have not forgiven the world of men, for falling short, and are always constantly reminding them of it.

Such women are what constitute the Panch Kanya's. And the universe ultimately bends in face of such persistence, and gives their desires to them, acknowledging that the world of men is not good enough for such women.

Who are these women?

Draupadi, the wife of the mighty Pandavas. The one who could not be protected by her mighty husbands, or the wise elders.

Kunti, the mother of the three Pandavas, wife of Pandu. The one who slept with other men to give her husband the sons he needed, but found him to be wanting in love, desire and regard for her.

Tara, the wife of the Monkey Kings, Bali and Sugriv. The one married the other to keep the peace when one disappeared, and then on his reappearance, had to once again be won by one by the brothers, while ensuring her son got his due.

Ahilya, the wife of the Gautam Rishi, a steadfast woman. The one who was cursed by a abusive jealous husband, for no fault of hers. Deceived by the cunning and disguise of a deva, and let down by a husband, who was wise, but not in the matters of the heart or even his wife.

Mandodari, the wise wife of the mighty demon king, Ravana. The one who could look beyond the current strength and might of her husband, and recognize the wrong actions of her husband, and tries very hard to protect him from himself. The one who had wisdom and righteousness to call out a deed a wrong one, even when the one who is doing is wrong is not only mighty, but a dearly loved one too.

Radha.....The Eternal Love

I watched Pandita Uma Dogra dance as Radha yesterday. On TV though, at the Khajuraho Dance Festival. She was beautiful. Innocence, playfulness, proprietary attitude towards Krishna, overwhelming unbounded love for Krishna and her sense of jealousy and longing for Krishna's bansuri - it was beautifully enacted in the poem - "Shyam tori bansi bajaoo nek" (Maybe I have got a word wrong here.)

Umaji got Radha alive on the stage. Her Kathak moves were exquisite and the abhinaya superb. I found myself crying as I saw it. I was transported to Vrindavan, near the Kadamb tree, where the two lovers laughed, played, teased and immersed themselves in each other.

I have had this longing to dance on Jaidev's Geet Govindam for years now. I know I would never be able to do it now - my dancing days are over. My desire to dance came from my deep rooted urge to express my wonder at the love of Radha Krishna, rather than dance itself, or the composition of Jaidev, beautiful as it is. Now, of course, I can only watch others perform, and it is so so beautiful and uplifting to watch a dance purist like Uma Dogra dance it.

What is it about Radha Krishna that completely mesmerizes me?



Thinking of them melts things inside, and I swoon, hearing the description of their love and longing. I wonder, what it must have been like to have been Radha. To love someone so beautiful and captivating as Krishna, and to be loved back, with the same abandon and surrender, as she was loved. What it must have been to have had no name to the relationship other than sheer love, erotic and worshipful, in equal measure.

And then, how it must have been to have been separated young, to carry the memory of such love all of their lives, when nothing would have come close to oneness than the way they felt for each other. A memory which had such an imprint that nothing of the stupendous life of Krishna, of him being a warrior, the creator of a race, the husband of many wives, the adviser to sages and kings, the Geeta-creating philosopher of the world, even came close to the way he felt about Radha. Krishna led his life immersed in Radha's love, even though he never met her after he left Vrindavan. Krishna was forever Radhe's Krishna, never just Krishna.

But what about Radha? How did she live after Krishna? Was she like a wraith all her life, living in his memory? Did she exult in the way she held this king of men in her heart?

Note to self:
a. Must write a story on this someday, Bucket list.
b. Must watch Khajuraho Dance Festival live some day.